Many many years ago, in Durham, the Bay, NYC, I would throw highly elaborate, extremely accurate, themed parties. I never do anything half-ass, so my home would be transformed into realistic renditions of whatever the theme. Every minute detail was fastidiously accounted for. As an artist, my creativity was plentiful when it came to these events. And when you go all out, the guests go all out with you. I’ve really had an incredible life, filled with wonderful people and unforgettable times.
One thing I have from these days, which I have contemplated jettisoning from my home several times, but have always kept, is a file drawer-sized box full of medical supplies. An RN friend of mine gave this to me when I asked her if she had any extra medical supplies for a medical-themed event I was organizing. Stethoscopes, face masks, tongue depressors, gauze, scrubs, band-aids, swabs, more gauze.
Of all the themes, these are the only supplies I have kept. I mean, you never know, right? There could be a catastrophe that would require me using the stethoscope. Right? Or it is feasible that something could happen where I would need rolls and rolls of cotton gauze. Or perhaps I would need to have a sterile space with a medical gown on. RIGHT? Or maybe I would need 200 tongue depressors for a future art project, or to make champagne popsicles. RIGHT?
And what if one day I wanted to use these implements to roleplay or something? Anything could happen.
What to do? And more importantly, who would I give this to? Who in the world would want all of this?
These are not objects you necessarily come by everyday. This is perhaps at the crux of my holding onto this box. I have held onto these medical supplies for perhaps 6 years now. I have been treating the box as if it were full of scarcity. I’ve been hoarding. To me, there is no such thing as an unnecessary medical supply. After all, medical supplies are the first things needed when natural disasters happen. See, I didn’t even think of donating that box when the multitude of disasters were happening because it was sitting in my closet, being forgotten. That’s the very reason I need to let go of this box.
It’s like an adult version of the chilldhood doctor’s kit. However, in this case, me keeping everything in a box in my closet is in fact, taking from others what could be critical in a dire time. Selfishness has made me hold onto this box.
If I really needed that much gauze I should probably be going to the emergency room. And if I really want to make 200 champagne popsicles then I would most definitely make that happen some other way.
I know exactly who to release this box to. A teacher. She will love this box for her kids, and she has the perfect venue to distribute it to those in need of medical supplies as necessary.
So on Day 6 of my 365 Release project, I am letting go of something I have kept because it is considered precious by society at large in times of crisis. But I am neither living in crisis daily compared to many many others, nor am I in need of these for myself. I am letting go of selfishness.
May those who need these supplies receive them and use them to the last strand of gauze for healing.