{"id":1033,"date":"2025-01-29T22:41:32","date_gmt":"2025-01-29T22:41:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ykhong.com\/writes\/?p=1033"},"modified":"2025-01-29T22:41:34","modified_gmt":"2025-01-29T22:41:34","slug":"unlearning-and-relearning-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ykhong.com\/writes\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Unlearning and Relearning Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Capitalist colonialism, because of its inherent individualism and foundational purpose in division, <strong>has made it difficult for us to love each other fully<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oppression is built on principles that hinder us from connecting meaningfully, plant the idea that policing each other is beneficial, and root out trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Our cultures have different infinite ways of love<\/strong>, but Empire is antithetical to love in community and limits it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And so, over generations, most of us have forgotten, don\u2019t know how to recognize, do not understand, or have not yet learned what is even possible with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So <strong>part of our liberatory work is to unlearn, learn, and relearn<\/strong> what that means. Not only do we have to be <strong>generous<\/strong> with giving love, but we must also be <strong>compassionate<\/strong> with receiving it as well. We have to learn all of its different forms in community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>We have to practice letting people know<\/strong> <strong>explicitly<\/strong> how our love manifests. Make sure people know what your expression of love looks, sounds, and feels like. <strong>Do not expect people to understand automatically and implicitly<\/strong> your specific brand of love all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Empire has worked hard to disconnect us from one another, <strong>so building the connection back is a craft <\/strong>that must be nurtured and grown now. It does not always come without some learning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Make your ways of love explicit from time to time. Let them know, for example, that you humming in front of them is how you show love, or that you preparing a meal is how you express love. <strong>Let them know explicitly<\/strong>, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We must also become pros at letting others know <strong>how we want to be loved<\/strong>, and <strong>how we want to receive love<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn that about each other. <strong>Take the time to learn<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn about your friends, your relationships, your neighbors, and in community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We cannot know through assumption how each other loves and wants love, especially in the world we are in that does everything to prevent it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once in a while, <strong>say it out loud, make it known<\/strong>. This is what love is to me, what is it to you? And <strong>show the people you love that you do <\/strong>in some way, shape, or form, <strong>every single day<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Capitalist colonialism, because of its inherent individualism and foundational purpose in division, has made it difficult for us to love each other fully. Oppression is&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/ykhong.com\/writes\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\/\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Unlearning and Relearning Love<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":2,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":null,"activitypub_content_visibility":"quiet_public","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"federate","footnotes":""},"categories":[274,175],"tags":[273],"class_list":["post-1033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-community-building","category-lets-all-get-free","tag-community","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Unlearning and Relearning Love - YK Hong<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Unlearning and Relearning Love - YK Hong\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Capitalist colonialism, because of its inherent individualism and foundational purpose in division, has made it difficult for us to love each other fully. Oppression is&#8230;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/ykhong.com\/writes\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"YK Hong\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-01-29T22:41:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-01-29T22:41:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"YK Hong\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"YK Hong\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"YK Hong\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/63b3947dbd600c6852806eb0df10ff59\"},\"headline\":\"Unlearning and Relearning Love\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-01-29T22:41:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-01-29T22:41:34+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":375,\"keywords\":[\"community\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Community Building\",\"Let's All Get Free\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\\\/\",\"name\":\"Unlearning and Relearning Love - YK Hong\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2025-01-29T22:41:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-01-29T22:41:34+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/63b3947dbd600c6852806eb0df10ff59\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/unlearning-and-relearning-love\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Unlearning and Relearning Love\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/\",\"name\":\"YK Hong\",\"description\":\"Anti-Oppression + Tech Justice\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/63b3947dbd600c6852806eb0df10ff59\",\"name\":\"YK Hong\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/a15b441b4016831a8613d616f5f3001a5f85740f89911c468ca141046ce847c6?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/a15b441b4016831a8613d616f5f3001a5f85740f89911c468ca141046ce847c6?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/a15b441b4016831a8613d616f5f3001a5f85740f89911c468ca141046ce847c6?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"YK Hong\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/ykhong.com\\\/writes\\\/author\\\/blog\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Unlearning and Relearning Love - YK Hong","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Unlearning and Relearning Love - YK Hong","og_description":"Capitalist colonialism, because of its inherent individualism and foundational purpose in division, has made it difficult for us to love each other fully. 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