In my experience, it’s usually the cis straight people who want the A in LGBTQIA to mean “ally.” And yes, I completely understand when you are first understanding your sexuality, gender, gender identity, expression, sometimes allyship is one of the ways to get there.

But something to remember too, an ally is an ally. An ally OF the LGBTQIA community.

That “A” means many other things including, but not limited to, asexual (plus ace, aromantic, allosexual, and more).

Sometimes when I’m working with people around anti-racism, anti-oppression, there are white people, there’s always a white person, some white person who says, “Oh, I’m a color too! I am a person of color, look I’m a color too!” And they point at their skin.

The need to center oneself at all costs by those in the groups that hold the power, that needs to stop.

If you are cis, straight, or white, accept that. And never try to decenter the experiences of those who are being oppressed because of identities like yours.