Community Building: What Do You Love Doing?

This post is the third part in a series on Community Building. Here are Part 1 and Part 2.

Once you’ve gone through the first two parts of this series wherein you create a list of your skills, by yourself and also by asking those around you, it is now time to ask yourself, “What do I love doing?” “Love” here can mean what brings you joy, what heals you, what makes you feel rested, what nourishes you? What brings you to yourself? What makes you smile with kind warmth to yourself? What brings you passion when you do it?

As we discussed in the first two parts, everyone is good at something. “Good” here not in the sense of what dominant culture tells you is a good at, but what you find yourself good at in the world you navigate. This idea of “good” is different in different communities, cultures, times, and contexts. We love this fluidity and connectedness.

In the backwards world we are in, it is often that we discover what we are good at that is worth something to capitalism before we understand what we love doing on our own. This is because we are incessantly pushed to accomplish tasks that generate capital, regardless of our preferences, likes, and loves.

Because of racist ableist capitalism, we are told to love the job that brings us money, the one that leads to “success” standards on capitalist colonialism’s path. We are told that what we are good at is the thing that earns money. Money is the reward, thus it follows that must be what you love. In this way, colonialism strips us of so many opportunities to be in touch with and check in about what we love, and to explore what we could be good at on our own life paths.

We are told that what we love doing on our own path should be more of a hobby and side activity. Meanwhile, what you are doing on capitalist colonialism’s path is what you should do and what you should love.

In capitalist colonialism, if you are lucky, or if you did immense self work to get to that place in life, what you do can align with what you love.

Let us examine a few examples of the varying relationships between loving what you do and having a skill for it. We have four people:

A person who loves cooking.

A person who loves skiing.

A person who is skilled at maths.

A person who is skilled at drawing circles.

Under capitalist colonialism, the first two may be told to cook or ski in their free time. The third and fourth might be incentivized and told to pursue those skills to earn an income.

Now let us release some of the capitalist colonial pressure and think about the outcome from a liberatory mindset.

A person who loves singing may find themselves getting good at it because they want to sing more, practice, learn, and dive deeper into the practice. 

A person who loves skiing may find that they cannot become a professional skier as much as they practice, but they love skiing nevertheless, regardless of the “level” of skiing.

A person who is skilled at maths, may find themselves loving it because they have clarity into how things come together in our world. 

A person who is skilled in drawing circles may find that it strains their hand and arm, so they don’t love it.

In a liberatory world, we have more options, we have more freedom, and we are more likely to be skilled at what we love rather than be forced to love what we are skilled at. There is no expectation that we must produce deliverables because we are skilled at something, nor is there an expectation that we must produce deliverables because we love doing something. You get to choose your process and outcome.

So for this mindful exercise, with your first list of what you are good at or skilled at beside you, now think about and make a list of things you love doing. Do you love hanging out with friends? Lying down somewhere in the sunshine? Listening to birds? Making collages? Writing stories? Folding paper? Speaking with new people?

Though your first list is there for you to contemplate, it should and will not necessarily plot to your list of things you love doing. Some of you may find that your list of skills is similar to your list of loves. Some of you may find that they are entirely different.

Let your love list lead you here.

When we give ourselves the space to contemplate what we love doing, we then begin to expand our hearts and minds to the possibility of anything.