In Korea, when you are born, you are immediately 1 year old. So what would be 35 here, is actually 36 there. And you always have two ages so to speak. This makes sense to me in that when we are born, we already have a personality. Case in point, my mother used to tell us of her cravings when she carried each of us. I think for me she said she was always craving everything. She also said as soon as I came out I had a full head of hair and I never cried, but always laughed. And if you know me, this is how I am still.
What a brilliant ontological concept. That we are always already sentient beings, born a year old into the world. I cherish every year I have to celebrate, and perhaps because of the Korean tradition of having two ages simultaneously, around my birthday I take one day to myself meditating, creating art and being mindful, marking my growth with insight. And one day to share with my loved ones in celebration.
For my 27th birthday, I was living in the Bay and went to Los Angeles to visit a group of very close friends. My first birthday day was spent in reflection and getting my first tattoo. The second day my friends took me to Las Vegas. I had been to Vegas as a child, because my parents took us all over the world (See Day 21), and I remember two things: the wall of heat that hit you when you walked outside, and that we were not allowed into any establishments.
So for my birthday, after getting my first tattoo, we drove to Las Vegas for my first time as an adult. I am not a gambler at all, but I most definitely did have many other vices that were encouraged and vehemently advocated by Vegas. I watched my friends play the craps tables, fascinated more so because I was not compelled to play myself in any increment whatsoever. We indulged in all of the debauchery Vegas granted to us, and we left the adult playground sated.
Since then I have visited Vegas a couple of times. The last time I was there for only 36 hours to watch a show. During the short period allotted, I went to see Dale Chihuly’s legendary glass-blown art pieces at the Bellagio. I managed, while there, to also pick up some playing chips to try the craps table while I had a couple of free hours. I have to try everything at least twice, right?
Again, because I am not competitive at all, and I don’t feel an allure to gambling, I played two rounds or so and felt like I had experienced all the gambling I needed to. And because I didn’t even have time to cash in the remaining chips, I grabbed them and went home.
So now I have $55 in Bellagio gambling chips. One of my guidelines to this practice was to not give away money. To me, these chips have not been money. They’ve been little enchanting red disks that feel wonderful in my hands. There’s a feel and weight to casino chips that makes you want to carry them around and click them together in your pocket. It’s almost as if they are made with rubber and plastic at the same time. It’s just like me to extract the design features of something that is supposed to have monetary value.
So on Day 23 of my 365 Release I am letting go of these chips to someone who will find more purpose to use them, and in turn release them into the world of the beautiful Bellagio.
[I created the 365 Release Project to practice non-attachment, letting go and change by giving away 1 thing a day for 1 year. The background, vision and guidelines to the 365 RELEASE project are here. The running list of everything I have released is here.]
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